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July 21, 2024, 2:02 pm

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But when you're right in the thick of it, this phase can feel anything but quick. Not that I enjoyed it (far from it), but in respect to both the final outcome and in that logic, reason, reasonableness and evidence prevailed. Help him understand that if he does not want to talk right now, that is okay. I don't think him not wanting to/choosing not to spend the weekend with me is bad behaviour - what I am upset and disappointed at is how he refused to tell me, left me waiting at the school for 30 minutes worrying and has told his mother he is 'scared' of me. This stems from a pretty toxic relationship while we were together that led to a not great divorce while our son was still a baby. There were a lot of fights and court dates and angry text messages and emails and battles up until my son was 5 years old and we finally came up with a system that worked and we could agree on. Although you did mention your ex has called the police so you would need to be careful about allegations of harassment. Solved] 12 year old son suddenly doesn't want to see me -. Just be there for him when he's ready.

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You are always putting your child in an uncomfortable situation. I'm going to delete the other two duplicate threads, but if you would like me to move this thread to another section then I'm happy to do that. And if dad is the only one willing to do this with him, he likely wants to spend more time with him and associates him as the "fun parent. Quite a few of our Dads have been in this position, I'm sure some of them would like to share their thoughts with you. There is no point in using neurotypical 'reason' to persuade him to see you as its not our reason and makes no sense to us. You can use this quiz to determine if that is the case: Signs Your Son Wants Nothing to Do With You. I might check that in the near future. Validate his emotions. The child's behavior is simply a projection of what both parents are feeling- tension, stress, frustration, resistance to change, the resistance to move forward and deal with the current situation. I'm going to keep doing my best for him and hopefully, as you said, he'll want to see me again. Who doesn't embellish or rearrange the truth at one time or another? " You are not planning for the visit in advance (fun activities). I don't know what to suggest about reaching out to your son.

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Over time, the pressure from these suppressed emotions becomes too much. "You're expected to be your child's advocate when she's this young, " says Cohen-Sandler. Once you limit your child's ability to build a relationship and love both parents — you are creating an unhealthy situation. I haven't seen nor spoken to my son for nearly 3 months. How can I get him to talk about it? " And finally, remember that this is a phase that will pass. From what you said, he doesn't seem to have siblings at home that are a close age (just a much bigger brother). She doesn't know how to handle it either. Phone my ex wife to check my son is there and he is her response ' I was expecting you to be here, bagging down the door by now'. Sadly your ex wants your son to see you alone and has most likely viewed these opinions so now your child feels as though he has a right to demand this as another adult agrees. I don't know, I might be.

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My partner doesnt want to support me and kids financially. My son not wanting to see me, that's I can understand. You might have concluded that your son hates you and wants nothing to do with you. When you start getting real answers, take many deep breaths. She has no problem saying what she feels, but her son? I honestly felt low and ashamed for feeling so hurt by my toddler pushing me away in favor of my mother-in-law. Or they're afraid of how you'll react. " You are not spending one on one time with the child.

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You are his father and inside he is screaming for boundaries and affection. Does she want your partner to feed her dinner? Can ex get a duplicate birth certificate for our son? Share your emotions and your thoughts. He doesn't want to come down for dinner. And a lot of topics are touchy to kids this age. Give your child time to answer. I want to do just that, to let the dust settle, but also let him know that he is always welcome and is missed by me and his siblings. Validating these emotions will make him feel understood and release much of the pent-up emotional tension in a healthy manner. Do you think that is something you could do? Your child's teachers may have insight into all these things; a new perspective may be just what you need to help you break through to your kid. We've all heard (or even experienced) the "needy" partner. It sounds like things have been very strained with your son It is proving very difficult to work out contact in a way that works for you all.

I Want To See My Son

Be nonsensical—idiotic, even. He told me this was making him unhappy and asked me to speak to his mum, I tried to on 3 occasions and she just refused point blank. In his mind, his room is his safe space, and asking him questions that make him uncomfortable will appear as an infringement of his space.

What To Do When Mother Won'T Let You See Your Child

What do you think about that? The reason I could not see them was because withholding contact was being used as a a means to cause harm and to exert a level of control over me (I was also being harassed by my ex partner at the time). And we all know how pleasant those relationships go, right? He throws temper tantrums when you force him to sit with the family. Meanwhile, you feel like you're doing something wrong to warrant that kind of behavior. We went back to this and then after a short time the pandemic happened.

Therefore, when you talk to your son about something he feels ashamed about, he tries to shut down the conversation by lashing out. As a result, he bottles up his emotions. Or perhaps they were a little on the quiet side, to begin with, then bloomed into a full-fledged introvert. Face them or they will never go away. And for good reason—that stove isn't going to wipe itself clean of oil splatters, and the laundry might wrinkle if left too long. It is very saddening, but I will try to keep these techniques at the forefront, and steam ahead with a smile. The Better Parenting 5-Day Challenge is for parents who know they want to improve but need that little nudge and supportive guidance to do so.

The Beast Tamed By The Villainess - Chapter 6